


What Lies Beneath...

by AllHallowsEve



Series: Wincest Colored Glasses [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Desire, Episode: s01e03 Dead in the Water, Longing, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Slash, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 16:55:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHallowsEve/pseuds/AllHallowsEve
Summary: At a loss about where their dad might be, the boys decide to work a case involving a potential lake monster.  What could possibly go wrong?Episode 3 as seen through my Wincest colored glasses.





	What Lies Beneath...

**Author's Note:**

> So here is the third installment of this series. It is helping me deal with missing the boys so badly. Hopefully you will find it somewhat helpful in that area too.
> 
> As always this is unbeta'd so please let me know of any glaring mistakes.
> 
> (Please note, this had been edited because somehow I posted part 2 of the series a second time under part 3's name. So this has now been updated to be the actual part 3. Sorry for any inconvenience or confusion.)

Sam watched in anguish as Dean eyed the skimpily dressed waitress in the diner they had stopped at.  He could see the lust in Dean’s eyes making his own body want to wretch.  He was exhausted from another nightmare last night, only this one wasn’t about Jess, even though he had allowed Dean to think it was when he woke him violently.

This time it was Dean, pressing him up against the wall of the Wendigo’s mineshaft.  They were alone and the monster was growling somewhere off in the distance.

“Get off me Dean.” Sam said in frustration, fearing that with Dean pressed against him this way, Dean was sure to feel his body’s growing interest.

“I have to protect you, baby brother.” Dean whispered in his ear. 

It forced an unwitting groan from Sam’s lips and Dean whispered against his skin, “Sam…”

“Sam…” and that was when Dean slapped him on the shoulder and woke him from the ‘nightmare.’

Sam’s nerves had been frayed for days.  He knew he couldn’t keep Dean from hooking up with some stranger for much longer, but it was killing him to think about it.  Before Stanford, he had been used to the constant pain of it.  It was a well worn slice into his soul, watching Dean leave whatever motel they were stationed at that day, to go off and come back smelling of perfume and his own release.

But now, things were different.  Dean wasn’t just barely out of his teens, he was a full grown man.  He held himself differently, more sure, if that were even possible.  Hunting on his own had built a surety in himself that was different from the cock sure charisma he had used when he was younger.  This version of Dean was a walking talking pheromone and it had Sam weak in the knees at every turn, along with every woman that Dean aimed his sights on.

Sam felt horrible for playing the losing Jess card so much, but it seemed to be the only thing keeping Dean’s pants on every stop they had made since the Wendigo.  Dean seemed almost desperate for ‘company.’

Sam was right, Dean was desperate, but it wasn’t at all for the reason Sam believed.  Dean needed to go screw someone’s brains out alright but it was only because he was getting less and less sure that he could hold himself together around his little brother.  ‘Little brother,’ that was a laugh.  Sam was now inches taller than Dean, and if Dean was being honest, that somehow really did it for him. 

He had thought when he was younger, there was nothing more he needed in this world than the reed thin body of his kid brother at his mercy.  Now seeing the man Sam had grown into when Dean wasn’t around to watch, made every part of his body need to stand at attention.  Sam’s shoulders were broader than Dean’s now.  He had lost the sulky teen hunch that had been his characteristic stance up until the time he had gone away.  Sam had a self assurance, a self reliance that he had grown into in the years away. It made Dean’s heart both proud, but also sad, and long for the young boy who had looked at Dean like there was nothing in the world he needed that his big brother couldn’t provide for him.

Sam’s pissy attitude about them not going after John was beginning to wear on Dean though.  He knew Sam desperately wanted to find their dad, hell, so did Dean.  But that cold pit in his stomach that made him sure something was wrong with their dad, was gone and Dean just wanted to enjoy the time together alone without their dad barking orders at them.  He wanted to enjoy being out on the road and hunting things with Sam and Sam was being a buzz kill.

Dean’s hidden anger about Sam leaving in the first place came out as a response to Sam’s attitude.  He didn’t mean to say what he did about how he had been with John for the past two years while Sam had been off at pep rallies.  He didn’t want to sound like a whiney little bitch, but he lost his temper.  He pulled it back together and told Sam in no uncertain terms that they would find their dad, but until they did, they were going to kill every monster they ran across. 

It managed to shut his brother up, but not before Sam gave him a pissy little eye roll.  Dean had to make like he was distracted by the flirty waitress that walked by in order to not smile like an idiot at Sam.  He would not have believed it was possible, but he had missed that pissy face Sam was so good at making.  God he was hopeless.

As Sam watched Dean’s eyes find the waitress’s ass as she walked by, his heart sank.  He had to give up.  Dean would never want him the way he wanted Dean.  He decided to use Dean’s own drive against him.  He agreed to the job that Dean himself had found in the paper.  Nothing pulled Dean’s attention away from the idea of getting laid as well as the thrill of the hunt.  They took off from the diner and headed straight to Lake Manitoc, in search of something that was drowning people in the lake.

They had barely started to get the lay of the land, interviewing the victim’s family, and then finding their way to the Sheriff’s station when Sam watched Dean find a new woman to get distracted by.  He huffed but was not surprised as Dean tried to flirt his way with her.  What did surprise Sam this time was that it didn’t seem to work.  She actually called Dean out on it and blocked him hard with a witty quip of her own, leaving Sam to tease his brother as they walked into the motel.

After realizing the woman Dean had been hitting on was the widow of another of the drowning victims, they made their way to the park that afternoon where they had heard she would be with her son.  Sam watched as Dean went over to the mute boy and sat and drew with him for a while.

Sam’s mind was filled with memories from his own childhood.  Dean had always played with him.  No matter how tired he was after school or drills his dad had put him through, he always made time to play with Sam.  His heart hurt over how much he loved his brother.  In times like this, he knew the depth of his love was wrong, it wasn’t just that he desired his brother in a way no one should ever want their own kin, but the intensity with which he loved him, it overwhelmed him, leaving his heart aching with it.

He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Dean loved him too.  Maybe in his own way it was just as overwhelming because Dean always put Sam first, always looked out for him more than his dad ever had.  But he was convinced that Dean’s love would sour if he ever got a whiff of what other feelings Sam had for him.  He shook himself out of his revelry and went back to questioning Andrea Barr while Dean was trying to get information from her son.

They hit a dead end until they found out that another person, the brother of the initial victim that had drawn them here, had drowned, only this time it wasn’t in the lake like all the others, this time his death happened in his own sink.  That, paired with the fact that they had learned the lake was being drained, gave Sam enough to go on to realize it wasn’t some kind of lake monster.  It had to be some kind of entity that could control the water. 

They went back to speak with Lucas, the mute boy that had witnessed his father’s drowning, that Dean had created a rapport with.  Sam watched from out in the hall as Dean confessed to being scared when he watched what happened to their mom when he was young.  It hit Sam hard.  Dean never talked about their mom, and especially didn’t talk about how he had felt when he was there the night she died.  Thinking about what Dean must have gone through, knowing their dad the way Sam did, he realized how alone Dean must have felt. 

Then he heard Dean say that he tried to be brave, tried to be every day.  Sam could barely stand from the stabbing pain going through his heart stealing his breath.  He knew Dean was saying what he was saying to get information from the boy.  But by the way Dean’s voice cracked and how it went low to barely a whisper before he finished, he knew what Dean was describing was truth.  That this was how he felt, every day when they were hunting, every day of their hard lives, Dean had found that strength, that courage to be brave, in the face of horrible things.  He was the bravest person Sam had ever known.  And to realize that it came from that child version of Dean, having to be brave in the face of all those things, brave enough to raise Sam and be there for him, it stabbed his soul.

Sam swallowed hard, trying to hide how much this was affecting him.  He tried to get Dean to talk about it once they were alone in the car, but, as was to be expected, his brother blew it off as no big deal. 

They stuck around long enough to solve the mystery and found out that the Sheriff, along with the father of the two young people who had drowned, had accidentally killed a kid 30 years ago in the lake.  They weren’t able to save either of those men, but they did manage to save Andrea and her son Lucas. 

Sam stood silently by as he was forced to watch Andrea kiss Dean good-bye.  This obviously was going to become a curse he had to endure anytime a beautiful woman was involved in a case they were working on.  He counted himself lucky that they were leaving before it had a chance to evolve into anything more than a kiss.

He had to remember that it was him that got to ride beside Dean in the Impala as they worked.  It would be him that Dean came home to after having sex with whatever nameless faceless woman he happened to hook up with the next town they would stop in.  As much as that hurt, he realized he would rather have what they had now, than the last four years of not getting to be with his brother at all.

He had thought that the solution to his being in love with his brother was to get as far away from him and the hunting life as he could. But that hadn’t solved how he felt, if anything, his feelings were more intense now than they had been when he was younger.  Seeing his brother as the amazing man he had grown into, willing to die for the strangers that got in the way of the monsters they hunted, it thrilled him to just get to be by his side.  If the price he had to pay to get to do that was to see Dean occasionally hook up with strangers, he would pay it, as long as it was Sam he came stumbling home to afterwards.

**Author's Note:**

> I am really enjoying this. It is a great distraction to how empty life is with no new episodes on the horizon until fall. 
> 
> I have no idea if I will be able to keep up this pace but I will do the best I can. My work is very slow right now, so I have more time to write. It isn't good for my wallet but it is great for my Wincest obsession.


End file.
